D A D B L O G S
A dad blog by a geek dad with two geeky kids.
This is just a continuation of my previous post. 2) Understanding and Guidance Many say that kids think differently nowadays and they are more difficult to understand. By recalling the times you were a kid, you can be a father who understands every beat of your children's hearts. Don't just say no to everything they say or want. Listen, understand and guide them in arriving at the right decision. 3) Encouragement and Protection Learn what they do best and support them in that area. Refrain from making them strive to be the person that they are not. You can encourage them though to do their best in areas they are poor at - like improving their failing grades in Math, doing good in swimming and having new activities or friends. Positive words have power over their lives. As you encourage them to try new things, there will be susceptible to harm. Be ready also to protect them from hurtful situations and words from other people. If they can feel your protection over them, they will feel secure in your arms and they will trust your presence more than anyone else's. I have always thought that mothers are more important than fathers as my siblings and I have been brought up by our single mom. We managed to live without our dad's support who vanished in thin air but we could never imagine our lives then without our mom's care and love for us. I held onto the truth that apparent truth to me for years but not until I became a dad myself. As I have shared with my wife, I'm thankful that I grew up quite fine but deep inside me I realized that I had needs which only a dad, my dad can fill. Let me label those needs which I think my kids themselves need from me (from us dads) as well... 1) Time and Presence - It is difficult to make kids believe that they are important to you unless they see you while they are awake and get to touch or talk to you. Oftentimes, dads kill themselves working year in and year out - no breaks on weekends and holidays - just to ensure that all bills will get paid and the kids will have college funds. Spending at least a couple of hours (preferably more) to your kids reading books, cracking jokes or biking around will make them feel important as you made time for them. Honestly, I did not have the time to prepare for fatherhood myself. Even though my wife and I are open to having kids soon after we got married, preparations (emotional, physical, psychological, financial and what have you) did not come to my mind as early as possible. My wife got pregnant sooner than we both expected and so I had mixed emotions about becoming a father. I had a different view of it when we got blessed with our succeeding children. In the practical side of fatherhood, you must be prepared with your financial resources. This is in consideration of all the expenses that will come your way - starting from the very first meeting your wife will have with her OB-Gyne, to the hospital expenses once she gives birth, to baby needs and vaccinations, to schooling and more. From the time your wife conceives the seed of your marital love, she will undergo a lot of changes physically and emotionally. Thus, you have to be strong for her and more understanding of her. The level of your emotional maturity would have to improve through time as your child/children are growing up. Taking classes or seminars in every season of your fatherhood would be ideal. I can say, in conclusion, having a paradigm shift is the best preparation any man can take just right before he becomes a father. Truly, fatherhood comes with many challenges and responsibilities that can break one's heart and mind. But if you focus on its positive aspect and not its negative aspect, you are surely to be effective in it. Lately, I have been missing posting on this blog. This is not because I am running out of blog ideas, but because I find it challenging to manage my blogging time. I am a Dad, and that means that I have to devote my time doing some parenting duties and making a living to support my family. Add some more household work and you get the picture. ;) Right now, I am doing baby steps to manage my time for my family, household duties, work and blogging activities. It may sound so basic, but I'm currently writing a list of the things that I need to do on a daily basis. This will really help me make more time to blog and record the milestones that I have as a father and a blogger. While flicking through the channels one late night, my attention was caught by the statement 'Daddies are role models not only to their sons but to their daughters as well' spoken by a psychologist. It got me interested to know why. And so, I watched the rest of the interview with the psychologist. He explained that daughters learn how to feel about their bodies and abilities from what their fathers say about them and do while they are around. If you talk negatively about their appearance and their skills, they are more likely to end up insecure. What's more they could be marrying in the future a man who will just boss them around. The same level of impact can be seen among their sons. When son sees healthy behaviors being displayed by their fathers, they are more likely to perform and act in a positive way without having to punishing or rewarding them according to what their deeds deserved. Oh, well. I might really have to be mindful of the words coming out of my mouth this time and the actions I do as well. 'Got to make sure they all have positive impact on my kiddos. |
Hey there. My name is Jim. I'm a dad & I know some dad stuff & I like to write about them here. More about me.
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